Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
