No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
