i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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