....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
