he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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