You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
