Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
