Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
