Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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