Yo dont text me then not text me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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