How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
