i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
