i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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