And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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