cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
