ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
