..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
