Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We had to coat check the pizza.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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