I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
