Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
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