he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
