just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
