I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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