Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
