It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
