can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
