hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In other news, I just burned my penis
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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