By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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