Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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