i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
