I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
