I puked a lego.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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