after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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