Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
