I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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