idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
