Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
