absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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