dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
