giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
