If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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