is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
