I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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