I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Randomize
