Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
