At least make sure they are 18
Why
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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