we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
