No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
