What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
