I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
